I am an ordained
elder in the United Methodist Church, and I have been in the ministry
for twenty-five years. I feel that my particular calling in the ordained ministry is
to serve as a local church pastor.
I have had a spiritually satisfying ministry, and God has
blessed the joint efforts of my and the congregations’ ministry and
missions throughout the years. A
little over two years ago our Bishop and Cabinet appointed me to my
present appointment in Morristown, Tennessee.
I was given the opportunity and challenge to take an active and
growing local church and to engage us in a massive building program
and to lead us into both deeper and expanded ministries.
This
would be a challenge and hard work for any pastor, but about a year
before coming to serve the Trinity United Methodist Church I was
diagnosed as having Parkinson’s Disease. When I arrived at Trinity to begin my pastoral ministry the
disease was in the early stages and was controlled well with
medication, but within a few months after arriving at this
appointment, my Parkinson’s symptoms began to progress.
I found myself busy with helping to create new programs and
with beginning a $1.2 million dollar expansion to our existing church
building and coping with and adjusting to new medical problems.
I
hit an emotional and spiritual low in March of this year when we
purchased our own house and moved from church providing housing.
I attempted to do something quite easy – attach the power
cord to a clothes dryer and install the dryer vent.
I discovered on this day that I cannot longer hold and use
common tools like screwdrivers and pliers.
My fine motor skills in my hands have diminished to the point
where they limit what I can do with my hands.
I sat there on the garage floor and expressed to God my anger.
I am only 51 years old, and I have been given the pastor’s
dream of a life time in pastoring a local church that is experiencing
excitement and growth in many areas.
My abilities to function are being curtailed by Parkinson’s
Disease, and I see the progression of this disease continuing to limit
what I can so and cause me to adjust both my lifestyle and work
practices. Why God did
you allow this disease to afflict me in the height of my career! It is not fair!
A
few days later God spoke to me, not in a thundering voice, but in a
“still, small voice”. He revealed to me that He indeed would be with me in my
ministry as a pastor and that His strength and encouragement would be
there for me. Soon after
being strengthened and comforted by God I began to get an expanded
view of my ministry. My
“weakness” can be a strength in my Christian calling.
God can use Parkinson’s Disease as a means of expanding my
ministry, and my illness can be used for His glory.
Most
of us have asked the “Why?” question, and it is easy to get a
negative attitude about life. I
want to point us to a source of help when we feel overcome by our
disease, as I did that day in my garage.
Let me share with us a Bible story.
I remember the first Vacation Bible School I ever attended.
I was a kid of ten years of age.
The lessons that week were on Moses.
I spent the next couple of weeks imagining I was Moses.
I cut down a young sapling and stripped it of its bark.
It became for me the staff that Moses carried.
When we read the Book of Genesis we read where God used that
staff in special ways. When
Moses touched the Nile River, the water became blood; when he tapped a
rock, sweet cool water flowed freely; when he extended his hand with
the staff God brought plagues of frogs, gnats, and flies upon the
Egyptians. I thought
about that childhood experience after discovering I had Parkinson’s
Disease. I saw me as a
child with that stick, and I remember hearing for the first time how
God worked his power and compassion for His people through that staff
of Moses.
I
felt terrible that day in my garage when I discovered that I was
losing my independence and my ability to be the handyman around our
home. Oh, how I wished for a magic staff or a God-anointed staff like
Moses had! When God spoke
to me a few days later, He brought back that childhood memory of Moses
and his staff. He let me
know that there are no magic staffs out there for me and for you, but
there is His love, His strength, and His compassion.
The work of God upon our soul is a truly wonderful thing!
He has assured me He will stand with me; He has given me many
Parkinson’s friends through the computer and through support groups;
He has given me a wife who stand with me, never complaining when I
struggle with new losses, who holds me and lets me cry when I am
depressed, and who loved me when I was whole in body and loves me even
more now; and God stands with me through the medical care I receive.
The work of God upon my soul is far better than any staff.
I
know that God walks with me, and I know that no matter what happens in
this disease, He will be there for me, and I also know that my disease
can be a source of ministry of compassion in Jesus’ name.
In closing I want to share a Scripture that has become my
personal testimony of how God is caring for me and where God is
leading me. It
is II Corinthians 12: 8-10
“Therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was
given me in the flesh….three times I appealed to the Lord about
this, that it would leave me, but He said to me, ‘My grace is
sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ So I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that
the power of Christ may dwell in me.
Therefore I am content with weaknesses….for whenever I am
weak, then I am strong.”
