Poems

Hi, 

My name is April Curfman and I have had pd for 17 years. 

I Have been writing poetry mostly the last 5 years or so. 

Here are some poems I have written about PD.

T H E  L O O K
I've Parkinson's - shaking - untamed

Muscle fights muscle - no one's to blame

I don't know why - the hurt - the shame

I try to hide - imperfect - lame

In public disguise - I reel

Insidious - the pain - I feel

When eyes glide past - their glance

Slithers by me as if - unseen

No heated stare - no lustful tease

No second look - no admiring

To wing my heart's imaginings

No stolen peek - no jealousy

No veiled hint - of unmet need

No raw desire - of hidden fire

No reprieve - for such as me

Sometimes anger, disgust, fear

Sometimes an empathetic tear

Sympathy, curiosity, frustration, animosity

Boredom, disinterest, fatigue, impatience,

Are reflected on their faces 

Call it pride or vanity

Greed, or my unspoken need

If for one moment - I could be

Without these chains - youthful, free -

Balm to my soul - just to know

One virile man - to me - unknown

Without guile - saw me - and smiled.

4/30/02

PARKINSON BLUES
Limericks are usually funny, Parkinson’s, 

my efforts distained.
Yet, it won’t silence my laughter.  

My attitude matters!
I will, my sense of humor – retain!
    
Parkinson’s breaks the flow of the data that tells
each muscle how to react
Varying symptoms, I rue, I can list but a few. 
Dopamine is the substance I lack.
    
So I shake when I the most don’t want to, I shake
causing people to stare
When I try to be cool, 

I shake like a fool
I shake even when no one is there.
    
I stumble when I would show power, I fall,
Sometimes, can’t walk at all.
My legs hesitate, hunched, shuffling, or lame
Makes me want to go pound on a wall.
    
I don’t always show what I feel, 

You may wonder or misunderstand
My face may look bland, 

When inside I feel grand
My muscles just had other plans.
    
My medicine’s a “hide behind” screen, 

Seemingly a dichotomy
Symptom magnitude screened 

“on or off” – wait and see
I have less and less time in between
    
I can’t seem to sleep much at night.  

I’m drowsy 
some parts of the day.
Balancing my needs and medication for PD
Are choices research helps doctors to make.
    
The cramps in my legs are unpleasant.  

I drool on my pillow in sleep
The fear I forgot makes me say, I have not
Not wanting to seem incomplete.
   
I need to remain independent, 

Sorting out 

What I do for myself.
If I can’t do a task, 

just wait for me to ask
Dignity and respect are what help
   
Parkinson’s doesn’t discriminate, men and women from 18 to past 90. 
1.5 million people sentenced without appeal.
FIND A CURE *** GIVE US HOPE TO KEEP FIGHTING

T H E    C U R E
If I thought, the cure, I'd find

By magic carpet, I would fly

Or beg a wee Irish elf man

For just one wish from his hand

I would trade a game show prize for

What is hidden by the door

I would track down every rumor

I would ride upon a storm

Bet the race on number three

Tickets to the lottery

I would wish upon a star
Travel oh so very far
I would follow Peter Pan
To the land of Nevermore
Become friends with Ed McMann
Find unicorn to kiss its horn
I would signal passing spacecraft
Fly through time, future or past
Hitch a ride on Dorothy's shoes
(If they'd bring me back to you)
Fairy tales and dreams and wishes
Magic carpets, superstitions
If they, a guarantee could make
Wanting - whatever it would take
Aching - for a cure so much
(I know I can't depend on luck!)

But then - God knows all the answers

He doesn't need a crystal ball
He doesn't need a magic wand or
Some writing on the wall
He doesn't ask for my opinion
He knows I'll fail before I fall
He reassures, He'll be there waiting
No matter when I call
He asks only that I trust Him
Let Him all my problems solve
Thought translated - thunder roles
He makes Galaxies revolve
Knowing all this - it's a wonder
He listens to me at all. 
Entertaining magic powers
Disrespects God's sovereignty
Wanting His accommodation
His master plan  -  re-writing?
I'm oft blinded by situation
Or focused on the wrong thing;
Jesus sacrifice showed me
Redeeming Grace, from sin, set free
Forever Love - His love for me
Tells me so that I know for sure
My King of Kings is the key

GOD will always be THE CURE

OPEN   THE   DOOR

 Life passes quickly - choose to grasp
At joy awareness before it's passed
To savor - every moment spent
With those whose understanding blends
with yours

To share music, time and feelings
Absorb together what's within
The magic intimacy brings
The thoughts, the hopes, the fears hidden
explore

The freedom to breathe air - untainted
By restrictions, presumptions, restraints
Find the courage to unmask
To unburden, without anger - questions ask
trust restore

Expand yourself - your open heart - a gift
Look into each other's eyes & truly listen
Knowing how much you need THEM to forgive
With their unique fulfillment - you both win
and more

Don't give up - when all seems hopeless
God knows what we need before we kneel
We've but to ask - His help when we are helpless
He wants - so much - all hurts to heal
not ignore

Problems aren't solved by just - "you intend"
Communication means - explain what you meant
Silence - doesn't broken promises mend
Nothing can bring back the time that went
before

God teaches every flower to open
Sends the rain and galaxies commands
Remembers every word ever spoken
Offered His life up - just like a lamb
for yours

God revels in our smiles and laughter
His teaching's foundation - is respect
Don't wait - and just let life happen
Then look back with nothing but regret
Open the door