Inside of Me
by Laura Dean
Why do I condemn you, when you are my own
I abhor you, despise you, cannot find your home
You are my limbs that disown me whenever you desire
My brain that wont shut down when I want to retire
You disgrace me with advancing disfiguration and allow me no doubt of your
continuation
The pendulum swings when I attempt to control you with medicinal side effects
added to the brew
I stumble to find a clear path to follow as you cover my vision with unstable
tomorrows
Purposefully quivering under stress I am given
I cannot control you, and its my body you are in
At night, on my knees I pray that this ends and ask God to show me what His will
intends
He lays out His hands to nourish a soul spent showing who I have become through
your advent
The things that I had once taken for granted are luxuries now that humilities
been planted
Time which once was a rare commodity is here for me to spend with friends and
family
To trade you away would change nature itself I cant be who i am if you're put on
a shelf
I will look at you now.. straight in the face and know I will live with you..
with my Lords grace
I will wake up each morning and challenge your melee for my vision has cleared,
and I now see my way
My body may have you as a permanent guest but you cant have my soul That.. the
Lord has blessed