My Mamaw Varney has always told me that all things happen for a reason. No matter what happens, she reminds me that it could always be worse. This is just an example of the faith she has in God. When I was first diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease two years ago at the age of 27, it made me question my own faith and caused me to become angry and bitter. You see, I had just graduated from Morehead State University nearly a year before and had made it through my first semester of law school at Florida Coastal School of Law, and was only a month into my second semester. I had just moved to Jacksonville, FL from Pikeville, KY after accepting a promotion with CSX as a manager in Coal Operations. My wife, Heather, and I had just bought our first home after being married for 4 years and were planning to start a family. All of our hopes and dreams were finally coming true!

Then the diagnosis came. And it was confirmed. And it was confirmed again. And, just like that, Parkinson’s disease had hijacked my body and our lives have not been the same since. The stress from work and school was making my symptoms worse, so I decided to take a leave of absence from school and postponed my life-long dream of being a lawyer. I was devastated! I felt so guilty for dragging Heather into this at her young age. I even tried to get her to leave me, but she refused and has stood by my side the past two years. I have tried to look on the bright side of things, as my family and friends have encouraged me to do. After all, I did have a really good job with disability insurance, and my supervisors and coworkers were very understanding, but I just couldn’t keep from being angry and bitter. I was questioning God and why He had put this huge burden on me at this time in my life and at such a young age, knowing that it was wrong to ever question Him. At one point, I even questioned my own will to live and was prescribed medication for depression.

I went on feeling sorry for myself for the entire first year. I was miserable, angry, and bitter. Then, in July of 2004, I attended the YOPN 2^nd Annual Conference in Minnesota and my attitude improved drastically before I left. I developed a strong urge to get involved in the Parkinson Community, so I joined the Parkinson’s Action Network, where I am now a Congressional Coordinator. I attended my first PAN Forum in Washington D.C. last month and finally discovered the answer to my question, "God, why me, why Parkinson’s?". As I looked around at my fellow advocates, many of which were in wheelchairs and in the later stages of this disease, the "REASON" had become apparent: I had been given Parkinson’s disease because I was needed in the war to finally defeat Parkinson’s once and for all. I began to realize that I was a natural advocate, as I was very comfortable and confident in my meetings on Capitol Hill. Millie, Michael, and Ali had done their part and had laid a solid foundation for our group. Now, it is up to us to push for funding and legislature to help find a cure. Heck, I would be satisfied if they could just find a prevention by discovering what causes our dopamine cells to deteriorate. I would count it as a victory if we could just prevent another person from ever having to hear that dreaded diagnosis, even if it didn’t cure me.

Thank you Greg and AJ for letting me know that although I wasn’t able to complete law school, that I could still be an advocate for something far more important. Since our brief conversation in Minnesota, I have stopped taking depression medication and I am now motivated and want to help other Parkinson’s patients. That is why I have five trips planned this year just to attend Parkinson’s events around the country. That is why I have taken such an interest in the patients that are suffering from the GDNF trials abandoned by Amgen. That is why I got involved with PAN and why I am helping to start a fund to provide financial assistance to patients and their care-givers, to make it possible for them to attend some of the national events, like the two that have changed my life. For more information on the Parkinson’s Patient Assistance Program(PPAP), send an email to parkinsonspatientsassistance@yahoo.com.

As for Heather and I, she is still standing by me faithfully. I am not sure what I ever did to deserve a love like that. No, there are no children on the way, but we haven’t ruled that completely out yet. I started Sinemet last week, which makes me very concerned about my long-term prognosis, but it makes my symptoms disappear and I feel better than I have in two years. I just got a promotion at work and plan to stay with CSX as long as I can remain productive for them.