Perspective by Chris Hall

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A STORY WITH THREE TITLES   Can I get more RAM? Not really About Memory What Did Mirapex do to my Brain? If only a dysfunctional brain could be upgraded like a motherboard or a chip. Once upon a time I spent many hours each day surfing the net, chatting, composing e-mail, posting my opinions, not to mention scrubbing and cleaning my system files and aimlessly playing with the keyboard buttons. I fancied myself as somewhat of a computer techie and had fun at least pretending to know what I was doing. I filled many Mirapex-induced lonely nights communing with the cyber world and was devoted to a network of night owl friends. I actually had fun retrieving lost files and documents. I was rarely at a loss for the correct word, command, or procedure. Word games and Euchre online were realistic challenges and I still had a reasonably good vocabulary recall. Over the last few months, I have lost much of my interest in the computer. For some reason it is not as much fun any more. I seem to have “dumbed down” and forget how to perform some of the more complex functions. No longer up to date with new technologies, I cannot seem to get motivated enough to do something about it. I have that feeling of falling behind and losing the edge. Even more difficult is admitting to myself that all that was once simple, is now becoming more difficult, and not just in the computer field. So, I do what comes naturally and avoid the sources of aggravation. I keep wondering if any of this apparent loss of cognition is a result of PD medications. Last year, due to some serious side effects I had to discontinue Mirapex. At first I was delighted with the results. I stopped pulling all-nighters and relearned “normal” sleep patterns. No longer a zombie, I developed a daytime existence. I lost the compulsion to check my e-mail every two minutes, as well as a few other bad habits. I thought my brain was clearing. Then slowly, insidiously, just like Parkinson’s itself encroaches on the body, issues became less simplistic and new brain burps began to occur. My short-term memory became unreliable, my mood darkened, and the pleasant haze of my Mirapex existence seemed to fade. I began to be anxious and worried, no longer able maintain my amphetamine-like energy. I was exhausted all the time. In fact, I have never recovered my pre-Mirapex self. Of course, it did not help matters at all that menopause struck with a vengeance at about the same time as I stopped Mirapex. Between that, PD and natural aging, I never know just where my brain is anymore. It just seems to drift aimlessly around in my skull. Two Days Later After two days of avoidance behaviour, I came back here to finish this. But now I can’t remember where this article was going or what else I intended to say (and you thought your memory was bad). I am going to submit it anyway in case anyone recognizes this syndrome and can comment or commiserate.

If only a dysfunctional brain could be upgraded like a motherboard or a chip. Once upon a time I spent many hours each day surfing the net, chatting, composing e-mail, posting my opinions, not to mention scrubbing and cleaning my system files and aimlessly playing with the keyboard buttons. I fancied myself as somewhat of a computer techie and had fun at least pretending to know what I was doing. I filled many Mirapex-induced lonely nights communing with the cyber world and was devoted to a network of night owl friends. I actually had fun retrieving lost files and documents. I was rarely at a loss for the correct word, command, or procedure. Word games and Euchre online were realistic challenges and I still had a reasonably good vocabulary recall.
Over the last few months, I have lost much of my interest in the computer. For some reason it is not as much fun any more. I seem to have “dumbed down” and forget how to perform some of the more complex functions. No longer up to date with new technologies, I cannot seem to get motivated enough to do something about it. I have that feeling of falling behind and losing the edge. Even more difficult is admitting to myself that all that was once simple, is now becoming more difficult, and not just in the computer field. So, I do what comes naturally and avoid the sources of aggravation.

I keep wondering if any of this apparent loss of cognition is a result of PD medications. Last year, due to some serious side effects I had to discontinue Mirapex. At first I was delighted with the results. I stopped pulling all-nighters and relearned “normal” sleep patterns. No longer a zombie, I developed a daytime existence. I lost the compulsion to check my e-mail every two minutes, as well as a few other bad habits. I thought my brain was clearing. Then slowly, insidiously, just like Parkinson’s itself encroaches on the body, issues became less simplistic and new brain burps began to occur. My short-term memory became unreliable, my mood darkened, and the pleasant haze of my Mirapex existence seemed to fade. I began to be anxious and worried, no longer able maintain my amphetamine-like energy. I was exhausted all the time. In fact, I have never recovered my pre-Mirapex self. Of course, it did not help matters at all that menopause struck with a vengeance at about the same time as I stopped Mirapex. Between that, PD and natural aging, I never know just where my brain is anymore. It just seems to drift aimlessly around in my skull.

Two Days Later
After two days of avoidance behaviour, I came back here to finish this. But now I can’t remember where this article was going or what else I intended to say (and you thought your memory was bad). I am going to submit it anyway in case anyone recognizes this syndrome and can comment or commiserate.